Middle School Enrollment Pillows

'You were a band geek?! Maybe Max will play an instrument!'

Cheers For The Hollyhock Middle School Chess Team

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

Garrett knew it was important to jeep his brain from overheating during big tests.

"I'm still pre-literate."

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

'I really wanted to only take accounting courses, but my parents made me take this cartooning class so I would have something to fall back on.'

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

"The first day of school. Yes sir. A day to make new friends. A day to mark new beginnings. A day to discover everyone but you has grown three feet over the summer."

"I think my mom made me a tofu sandwich."

Now I'll open up the floor to questions and batsh*t crazy rants.

"If you miss a payment, we show up and embarrass you in front of your friends."

Highschool sign.

"If anyone rings tell them I'm on a course."

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

"I wish every teacher came with a warning label."

Frat House Feng Shui

"...and would you like to enroll her in pre-pre-pre-med or pre-pre-law?"

"I attempted Greek Math and stuck out like a Thor sum."

"Right now, I'm between naps."

Teacher faints: 'The day the entire 6th grade class turned their homework in on time.'

Stoics vs. Epicureans.

'Talk about being scared straight...I just found out that being held back a grade is not an urban myth.'

'Let's enrol on the last one. We've more chance of getting a job doing that these days.'

'...and, if I don't get a place, I'll kill myself.'

Middle age means a constant struggle not to be irritated by everyone and everything.

'It's okay, mom. I go through this every day at school.'

"This place is okay, but it's nothing to text home about."

Internal Clock

"I know there are a few things I don't understand, but second grade should take care of that."

Please School Remotely.

You Can't Have a Drink at Age 17 But a Bank Will Lend You $57,000 in Student Loans You'll Never Be Able to Escape

"It started with sneaking kale into their spaghetti. Before I knew it I was sneaking homework into their video games."