New School Enrollment Pillows

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

'But what is the universe for?'

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

You wrote a book report on a video game instruction manual?

" 'How I Spent My Summer Vacation,' a treatment by Todd Mozelle, Grade Three."

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

"I'm still pre-literate."

Children's education

'I really wanted to only take accounting courses, but my parents made me take this cartooning class so I would have something to fall back on.'

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

"There are days when I wish we'd never agreed to him changing his spots"

"The first day of school. Yes sir. A day to make new friends. A day to mark new beginnings. A day to discover everyone but you has grown three feet over the summer."

'I got a good place in my exams today. Right next to the radiator.'

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

Now I'll open up the floor to questions and batsh*t crazy rants.

"The children took off their own coats this morning, Pastor."

"I think my mom made me a tofu sandwich."

"Hey, you guys, don't you remember? The big word here is 'compromise.' "

"If you miss a payment, we show up and embarrass you in front of your friends."

"Rats, I thought he'd like my science project!"

'Due to the record snowfall, every school on the face of the earth is closed except for Wolfbranch Elementary.'

'How could you flunk multiplication?'

"Welcome."

'I'm having a hard time balancing homework and family time.'

Back To School

"If anyone rings tell them I'm on a course."

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

"I've got the ninth grade chemistry class this term."