Middle Age Sage T-Shirts

'You think irritable fowl syndrome is bad? Just wait until you hit menopause.'

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"Remember, if I'm ever on life support unplug me... then plug me back in. See if that works."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

Ogden Nash: 'Middle age is when you've met so many people, that every new person reminds you of someone else.'

'My teacher said the school has tough new standards and I need to improve my vocabulary. What's 'vocabulary'?'

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

How to identify the alarming mood swings of male menopause.

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

'It's the Mesolithic Age? - But I just got used to the PALEOlithic!'

Star Trek-the Older Generation. . .

Bishop with a crozier case.

'How am I supposed to meditate with your nose whistling?'

'I still have all my own teeth.'

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

'Huh...I just got this sudden, uncontrollable urge to invent spoken language.'

Couldn't you have used a smaller font?

"Hunters turned philosophers"

'I'm afraid my husband will stop loving me as I get older.' - 'Mine would never do that with me. You know why, don't you. He's an antique dealer.'

"Rough year?" (2021 new year baby asking 2020 old year man)

"Without a doubt... the first sixty!"

The past only looks good when you're living in the present.

'Wh-h-hatz-u-upp, dude?'

'Meaning of life, eh? -- Who wants to know?'

'You know you're 40 when...'