Mid-year Reflection Gifts

"My God, do you realize the year's half over?"

"We're experienced an extraordinary amount of growth this year."

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

ZZZZZZZ Top

"We've developed a five year plan that includes ample provisions for another five year plan if this one doesn't work."

'Here are some bonus checks. Distribute them unfairly.'

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

"You used to be that ambitious."

'Where Are They Now?'

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'I had a great year and I wasn't even trying.'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

"Take it. It's your bonus."

'Is that all you can do Just sitting there watching your old movies'

"When you're finished with your Thanksgiving

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

"Remember back when we were just larva and didn't have a care in the world?"

'Brother, the Lord takes a very dim view of the comb-over.'

Realizing that his youth was now behind him, Mr. Twigly left home at the sight of his first gray hare.

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

"It's been a bit of a roller coaster year so far."

"You should do something brilliant, before it's too late."

They all thought they'd be astronauts...instead they're all accountants.

"My salad days have all turned to coleslaw..."

'Since we've been married thirty years, Lester, I think it's time to face up to the fact that we've been seeing too much of each other.'

"It started with a few grey hares in my 20's and they kept showing up."

'It's quite common with men your age. You've got a silver duct tapeworm.'

"I don't feel ready to commit to a cacoon, either, but do you ever worry we'll wake up one day and be forty and still caterpillars?"