Microblogging Fanatic Pillows

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

21st century water cooler conversations.

'Someplace where we could take lots of selfies with national monuments...'

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

Digital Fomo!

Obsession with the Internet.

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

"What does it mean? Heck, I don't know! It's mystifying!"

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

Trick or Tweet

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

"I always send a layover selfie back home, to let everyone know I'm safe."

'Those enormous worldwide internet communities.'

"She looks just like in your photos."

"Lori, I can’t talk right now — I’m right in the middle of updating my dog’s Facebook page."

How logos change over time.

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

'I won't be writing this year, you can find my list on my blog.'

Giving Things Up For Lent.

The Thinker?

"These are X-Rays of your operation, and this is a selfie I took with your gall bladder."