Microblogging Fanatic Pillows

"My big fat ego has just discovered Twitter!"

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

21st century water cooler conversations.

'Someplace where we could take lots of selfies with national monuments...'

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

Digital Fomo!

"You really ought to cut down on your scream time."

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

Obsession with the Internet.

Updated Classis: Alice Through the You Tube.

"What does it mean? Heck, I don't know! It's mystifying!"

'There's no art to the mind's construction on Facebook, Macbeth.'

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

Trick or Tweet

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

I just hope my doctor is not on twitter too!

"Lori, I can’t talk right now — I’m right in the middle of updating my dog’s Facebook page."

'Those enormous worldwide internet communities.'

"She looks just like in your photos."

How logos change over time.

"I always send a layover selfie back home, to let everyone know I'm safe."

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

'I won't be writing this year, you can find my list on my blog.'

Giving Things Up For Lent.

The Thinker?