Microbial Maverick Pillows

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Sure, all the diseases come down here, but so do all the antibiotics."

Cellphone Islands

"I hoped you'd change your hobby when you became a father"

"I'm going to get you fired."

Grandma's caf

"That new antibiotic seems to be working. Time to evolve again."

Motorcycles tied to hitching post outside a western saloon

'Have you any W fronts?'

'Catch this!'

"Wi-fi....Wi-fi...WI....FI!...."

'Sue's troubles with the law began the day she bought that first motorbike.'

'Look - it's SUPERBUG!'

Biker chopper shopper

"I feel so seen right now."

How To Cut The Defense Budget

Absurd motorbike

'There was an extra 50 miles on my bike this week. I couldn't keep you off the couch, now this?'

'The anaerobic ones are just sitting there, but the aerobic bacteria are doing jumping jacks, sit-up, leg lifts....'

"I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology."

"Kind of makes your feel large and significant, doesn't it?"

"Lawrence never goes anywhere without his ecosystem."

'I wanted a little more speed. I just hope I'm not violating any laws by using a jet engine.'

"They don't look familiar...probably from another fecal transplant."

"Hells Angels, Zamboni Division"

"I'm sorry, Uncle Ed. I just couldn't save the poor ol' thing. You want to shoot it, or shall I?"

No, I don't have roaming service, I am the roaming service.

'When you grounded me to my room, you said no TV or computer. You never said I couldn't build my own bike.'

'I see you decided to build your own motorcycle. By the way, did you, by any chance, fail shop class in school?'

'Andrew loves taking things apart and putting them back together...except he can never actually put them back together...'

Former CEO - Now King of the Highway.

'You CAN Pass The Turing Test!'

Stealth fighter fly over.

"An election is like a car repair where the car owner has to pay a lot of money to have old broken parts replaced with new broken parts."

The Perfect Dengue Storm and Coronavirus