Microbe Negotiator Gifts

'It's a deal. You don't infect me, and I don't infect you.'

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

Changing Minds

'I'm not playing 'Bride and Groom' unless you sign this pre-nuptial aggreement!'

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

"I'll go to my room and do my homework, but I want time and a half."

'My allowance isn't much - but I have a great benefits package!'

'At first I was grounded, but my lawyer was able to plea bargain it down to 30 minutes in the Time Out Chair.'

Boy in toy car talking on phone.

"To be honest, I'm not really surprised to hear your relationship isn't working out. You're not the first bacterium and penicillium to sit in those chairs and you certainly won't be the last."

We pay the maximum minimum wage.

'Oh, I dunno. hat would you like to evolve into?'

'If I promise to be good for the next 30 years, can I have some sweets Dad?'

A successful meeting! Only one member left in a rage shouting obcenities.

"Dad since my pocket money isn't index linked, you've forced me to have to renegotiate."

"He just talked me into giving him a 200% raise in his allowance. At least we don't have to worry about him not succeeding in business when he grows up."

'I mind my mother, and I do my lessons, and I'm here for the quid pro quo.'

Louis Pasteur

"This is the little league. You can't negotiate a signing bonus"

'Oh-oh, they're looking up at me ? I think they're on to us!'

"I'v got this center-of-the-universe gig."

"But it will never get better if you picket"

"If it gets tense in here I might need you to step up and BS-calate things."

"Oh, yeah? Well, we just put out a contract on you too!!!"

"We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way."

"I'm not giving up the present till I see the party bag."

'Sometimes it's good to get a different perspective.'

'What split would you settle for, fifty fifty?' - 'As long as I get the hyphen as well.'

'Let's arbitrate.'

"Come pick me up. This is going nowhere,"

'I've been coming to Kindergarten every day for two weeks-- When do I get paid'

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'