Microbe Monitor Gifts

Medical School. No, the oath to do no harm doesn't include germs.

Disease Management

"Tour de Frank"

'But Timmy, you have to eat your antibiotics, or you'll never become a big and strong bacteria.'

Scientist counting microscopic things he can see in his microscope

Comicron

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

When bacteria trash talk to antibodies. Oh yeah?! You and what course of antibiotics?!

"I'm going to get you fired."

Down a the lab - Germs "So what will you do when you grow up?" "Oh the usual...divide,multiply,infect,kill.."

'That which does not kill me, make me stronger.'

"Pssst! - Gerald, you've mutated again. . ."

DNA Analysis.

'That new antibiotic seems to be working. Time to evolve again.'

Gene Therapy

'It's a deal. You don't infect me, and I don't infect you.'

"That new antibiotic seems to be working. Time to evolve again."

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

There's Nothing Worse Than A Staff Infection

Footballer and Bacteria.

Viral Pathology Center (janitor finding three dead bodies)

"Are you sure this is a 'Flu virus?" "See for yourself...it's nose is running!"

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

We'll have to reproduce fast to defeat the antibodies! I get it! Divide and conquer!

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'

'You tell me how to give them a fever, and I'll tell you how to make them cough.'

Until Bob entered her life, Lisa never even knew the meaning of the phrase 'acute multiple drug-resistant infection by transgenic Staphylococcus aureus.

'A geneticist laid bare my genetic blueprint, and I feel violated.'

'Catch this!'

Cell splitting - don't do that.

"I know you've been together a long time, but I'm sorry... Your microbiome can't follow you in."

'I don't believe it - if this evidence is correct it'll rock the very foundations of our research grant application.'

"I'm trying to grow a cancel culture – but it keeps dividing and dividing until there's nothing left."

Biologists often consult with microbiologists.

"To be honest, I'm not really surprised to hear your relationship isn't working out. You're not the first bacterium and penicillium to sit in those chairs and you certainly won't be the last."