Mic-holder Gifts

'They're both great quarterbacks, but I chose Matt as my starter because he's dating a celebrity!'

Girl Band, "I wish you'd tell your mum we don't need her in the group!"

Lovers

Waking Up With Rooster.

Rock On

Open Mike for the spotlight operators

Testing...Testing...1...2..3...

'Fantastic!Stupendous!Masterly!Mind blowing!Polished!Unbeatable!Amazing!Incredible! Out of this world!...a performance that's left me speechless.'

An Audio Technician's Pocket Knife

The worship singer suspects someone doesn't appreciate his talent after finding his mic muted for the 3rd time.

A Lesson in Leadership: Misplacing your keys isn't a problem, unless you have to enlist the whole school's support to find them.

Matins 10 AM Open Pulpit

Stage Fright.

Journalist interviewing a bird.

'Managers karaoke night'

Strictly off the record.

Frankie Boyle

Mic drop

Man who works at a magnet company finds his briefcase attracted to the briefcase of the man who works at the scrap metal company.

Natalie Merchant

'Every year was the same. There was always some clown or comedian in Brian's intake of pupils.'

"You can't go on because you're 'feeling funny'? In your case it's so rare, make the most of it!"

'No comment!'

Electronics. It's a great idea, but nobody makes campaign-canceling headphones.

'I said 'HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT OF GETTING A HEARING AID?'

Raising the Flag on Iwo Jima

Too many coxes.

"The minister is known to do a mic drop after a particularly good sermon."

TV Fan

"So there's ABSOLUTELY NOTHING you can think of giving up the New Year apart from your peanut collection?"

'Hey,COOL headphones buddy'

Ricki Lake

Jon Gruden

Sen.Krupt. The microphone I didn't know was on took my remarks out of context.

"Here's another I wrote about pawning my guitar because I don't make enough writing songs."