Metaphysical Beginners Gifts

"When was your last meta-physical?"

"Existentialist Trail. Get lost then found. Nietzsche Park System"

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

"Hello - I'm from the future..."

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

'Funny, I thought a near-death experience would be different, somehow.'

"You want answers?" "I want the truth!" "You can't handle the infinite explanation of cosmological arguments relating to the truth!"

'I predict that the next big trend will be spontaneous non-existence.'

"Oh my goodness. My lecture on John Donne has just been awarded Most Pizzazzy Metaphysical Lecture of the Year."

"Never mind 'what does it all mean?' What does anything mean?"

"This is a little embarrassing to admit, but everything that happens happens for no real reason."

Introduction to Metaphysics.

'Do you ever wish the Big Bang would have been just a little bigger?'

'Osgood was a theologian back on Earth, and he thought all this stuff would be allegorical.'

"I've been asked to dance on the head of a pin" "Yeah, you and an infinite number of others."

Philosophers studying meta-physical chemistry.

"If 'A Tree Grows in Brooklyn' and no one reads it, does it make a sound?"

"What can you tell me about the meaning of death?"

'Remember, Stevens, things are rarely what they appear to be.'

"'Meaning'? Hahahahaha..."

'I am not, metaphysically speaking, as loopy as you seem to believe.'

Sporozoa: One of the earliest philosophers.

"I guess I can’t prove I exist either."

Department of Metaphysics.

'Oh yes we definitely move on to another place when we leave this realm...'

Astral Projection Society: In Body....Out of Body.

Astral Projecting Babushkas

'I still don't understand quantum theory.'

John Donne.

'Do people have soles?'