Metaphorical Medalist T-Shirts

"Hang on a minute! We do the running and jumping, but the rider always gets the prize money, the cup or the medal!?! You're kidding me right?"

Reading my Critics

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

"National Metaphor Day by the looks of it."

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

"We had a brainstorm - I hope it's a brainchild."

"Remember, the road to recovery begins with baby steps."

"Remorse sits in my stomach like a piece of stale bread. How does that sound?"

Out of control

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

'Life is like a trough, Mr. Fisk. How much slop you get out of it depends on how much slop you put into it.'

When Tia Carmen says... "A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner" it means "I can fix it with a hammer."

"You know what I think, babe? Seven on the Richter scale."

A Poem about Sand

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

'I've discovered you have feet of clay.'

"I'm the bluebird of low expectations."

Rats deserting a sinking ship

'I don't suppose I need to remind anyone that when I use the term 'bite the bullet,' I mean it metaphorically.'

'Stick and Carrot Business Incentive Consultants.'

'Are those physical or metaphorical thunderclouds moving in.'

"Naturally you have trouble getting in touch with your innermost feelings. You're a hollow choclate bunny."

'This one is for keeping all the other ones so neatly arranged.'

"I'm more interested in hearing about the eggs you're hiding from yourself."

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

Ambitions...To Eat My Words: "Lobster, Fllet Steak, Peaches in Brandy."

Life Remaining Progress Bar

"now let's try one without the tusks."

Dangling Carrots

"What a day, I swam with the sharks, ran with the bears and wreastled with the bulls..."

Some moss pounces on a rolling stone.