Metaphor Mixer T-Shirts

"Mine's a metaphor. I don't know what's going on withyou."

"Nation-building never works."

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

Interdisciplinary studies.

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

"National Metaphor Day by the looks of it."

'Life is like a trough, Mr. Fisk. How much slop you get out of it depends on how much slop you put into it.'

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

"Remorse sits in my stomach like a piece of stale bread. How does that sound?"

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"I'm the bluebird of low expectations."

'I've discovered you have feet of clay.'

'Stick and Carrot Business Incentive Consultants.'

Start the session by doing something unusual.

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"

'I don't like the mediciney taste of this mouthwash either. I hate that taste of eyes of newt and turtle brains first thing in the morning.'

Life Remaining Progress Bar

Some moss pounces on a rolling stone.

'So push has come to shove...'

The Nature Writer Writer.

"Poetry would be way more accessible if they just said what they meant."

"Sooo....my wife and I saw you from across the bar."

Alf and Misery Guts

'This is the eight hundred and sixty-seventh day of my captivity - How about you?'

"In the land of toast the butter is spread very thin."

'I'm just not keen.'

Metaphors.

'Let's put it on the back burner for now. Give us both a chance to cool down.'

"Look, I got a good grade because I worked hard. It's like riding a bike...stay in your seat, keep moving forward and you'll reach your goal. Unless you hit a lipstick case dropped in the middle of the road."