Metaphor Mixer T-Shirts

"Mine's a metaphor. I don't know what's going on withyou."

"Nation-building never works."

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

Interdisciplinary studies.

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

"National Metaphor Day by the looks of it."

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

"Remorse sits in my stomach like a piece of stale bread. How does that sound?"

'Life is like a trough, Mr. Fisk. How much slop you get out of it depends on how much slop you put into it.'

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

Guru. It's not some kind of zen metaphor --- I really do have an invisible fence!

'I've discovered you have feet of clay.'

"I'm the bluebird of low expectations."

'Stick and Carrot Business Incentive Consultants.'

Start the session by doing something unusual.

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

Some moss pounces on a rolling stone.

Life Remaining Progress Bar

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"

'So push has come to shove...'

'I don't like the mediciney taste of this mouthwash either. I hate that taste of eyes of newt and turtle brains first thing in the morning.'

"And now, Bach's Brandenburg Congerto Number One, first movement."

The Nature Writer Writer.

"In the land of toast the butter is spread very thin."

'I'm just not keen.'

"Poetry would be way more accessible if they just said what they meant."

'This is the eight hundred and sixty-seventh day of my captivity - How about you?'

Life can be beautiful, Al. But for you, the fly in the ointment is your self-loathing. So, my question to you is, what's the fly doing in the ointment? The backstroke!

"Sooo....my wife and I saw you from across the bar."

Alf and Misery Guts

A bird's song is trapped in a musical stave.

Metaphors.

'Let's put it on the back burner for now. Give us both a chance to cool down.'