Metaphor Maestros T-Shirts

"Our sex-life may have been arid, but what a metaphor for the Sahara."

'Precise, analytical and beautifully reasoned address. Now condense it down to a snappy sports metaphor.'

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

"National Metaphor Day by the looks of it."

"You're good at asking all the right questions. Now let's hear some right answers."

Guru.

Heroic Rescue from a Falling Tower

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

Two plans - one long-term and one short-term.

"Well, it could be the rising tide of consumer indifference to our company's latest product, or it might be the sink in the men's bathroom acting up again. We're still not sure."

"Boss, the customers can hear you cackling maniacally." "I've topped myself, minion." "It's not enough to run ads that tout our own excellence: we have to simultaneously tear down the competition." "Behold: my masterpiece." "'100 percent of those who drink Coffee King’s coffee will die.'" "Best part is it’s technically true."

'What do you mean, the chart resembles an iceberg?'

"Remorse sits in my stomach like a piece of stale bread. How does that sound?"

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

'Life is like a trough, Mr. Fisk. How much slop you get out of it depends on how much slop you put into it.'

'Ooops! My mistake. That was the yearly budget estimate, no the monthly estimate.'

'Enter, His Royal Globalness...'

'I've discovered you have feet of clay.'

"And what my plan may lack in coherence, it makes up for in the exhilerating momentum created by all of these super-cool arrows!"

'Good - we're finally all on the same rampage.'

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

The central metaphor of her novel was a fly.

'Honey. . . I'm ommmmmmmmmmmmmmm.'

Life Remaining Progress Bar

Communicating with clients without using buzzwords posed a challenge for the consultants.

Some moss pounces on a rolling stone.

"Next?? How should I know what comes next?"

'let's see if we can find any loopholes in this 'honesty-is-the-best-policy' nonsense.'

"Costs have risen by 200% and we are behind schedule. We are living up to our acronym gentlemen and I am not happy about it!!"

The boss and her baby

"Starting here, each person whisper to your neighbor the purpose of this meeting and we'll see what we end up with."

'I can show you in our panic room while you're waiting to see the boss.'