Meditation Maestros T-Shirts

"Cobra pose assisted by chocolate mousse."

"We've been up here forty-three years - Maybe we SHOULD start looking into retirement homes."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

Surfing the daily stress

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

Fight or Flight

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

Mind-Fullness

'Oh, crap.'

Cactus seats.

Unguided imagery

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

Meditation

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

"Well, if you're still awake when the time changes, you'll lose an hour of overthinking everything, too."

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

The cat taught her to live life to the fullest. Which, for an indoor cat, means eat, sleep and stare out the window.

The power of now

"Showoff"

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

"Serenity's cool and all, but when do we get to bliss?"

Guru.

'Want to make it two out of three?'

The art of yoga is the power of the mind.

Need an elevated state of mind too!

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G