Manipulation Maestros T-Shirts

"Boss, the customers can hear you cackling maniacally." "I've topped myself, minion." "It's not enough to run ads that tout our own excellence: we have to simultaneously tear down the competition." "Behold: my masterpiece." "'100 percent of those who drink Coffee King’s coffee will die.'" "Best part is it’s technically true."

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

Four children playing the flute.

Busking, "Stop worrying your father for money."

'Nothin' beats a wild block party.'

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

"Oh he also likes Wagner's 'Flight Of The Valkyries' played whenever he enters a room."

'He's out massaging,manipulating and monopolising.'

"I finished my act. Could you come over and give me a hand?"

"Not too much off my back."

"Logistically impressive Hodges, but does this qualify you for a leadership role in the company?"

Casual Mask Fridays

"I should have know he was a control freak when he seduced me in his signal box."

Someone being taught how to conduct an orchestra.

Requiem

'Management is upgrading all the hardware.'

Super-modified grand piano.

'I'm afraid you've got the wrong department.'

"No...I said aperitif!!"

"What's it all about, self-ie..."

'Precise, analytical and beautifully reasoned address. Now condense it down to a snappy sports metaphor.'

"You're thinking of a different cut, Mrs Sigmond. This piece comes from about here."

Natalie Merchant

"Our next online purchase will be a commercial trash compactor."

Earworm Ward

"This is fine, General, but how are your typing skills?"

Riccardo Muti

War and Peace

'Why are you flicking paint on the floor...'

Naive to its unconventional approach, Wyatt is victimized by the rare and elusive Mumble Bee.

"It doesn't look too promising."

"The next speaker needs an introduction but won't get it from me!"

'Must you always bring your work home with you?!'

"Hey feet off the table"