Metaphor Appreciator T-Shirts

Lonely fish.

'I'm thinking about quitting the rat race.'

"The seller isn't willing to come down."

Meat Grinder

A yin and yang sign with dripping paint

Writing about scientific progress in 1675, Isaac Newton said " If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants." This metaphor is now commonly used to make the point that scientific advances are made using a foundation built by the work of those who came before. That Newton guy was right, you can see further when you're on the shoulders of Giants. I just wonder if he was talking about the players from the football Giants or the baseball Giants. Ernie is a much bigger fan

'The cat wants to come out.'

A 'Cling film': "Ivy - get a life!"

A tiny smoker pops out of a man's hat.

"Let's face it, Harry...you've got no backbone!"

Ship of fools.

'Gentlemen, the company is in bad shape...'

'He definitely has to get his ducks in a row.'

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

Reading my Critics

"Who's got the hammer?"

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"We have an acronym!"

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

Updated Classis: Alice Through the You Tube.

'The boss said I never made any profits and I never found customers worth mentioning and that's why he promoted me to the company's chief bad example!'

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

"Steamed vegetables."

'Oh Hi!'

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

Don Quixote is Caged (Don Quixote).

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

'This one is for serving 27 years in the military without anyone finding out I'm gay.'

The Greek Trampoline

"Amateurs."

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

'It's cutting edge theatre.'