Proverb Appreciator T-Shirts

"I didn't say: 'He doesn't bite'. I said: 'His bark was worse than his bite'."

"I tried shutting my mouth and opening my mind, but then I remembered it's better to give than to receive."

When in Rome Do as the Romans Do.

"My situation may not be the greatest, but I'll tell you this - I'm worth two of you!"

'We could at least go to hell in a private handcart!'

'I'll look for apples -- you keep an eye out for early birds.'

"I like the elephant in the room. With his memory he never screws up our lunch order!"

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

Madonna of the Pukes.

"Who's got the hammer?"

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

Trump! The Musical

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Thirty Four

Night of the Zombonies.

"We have an acronym!"

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

'Oh Hi!'

Updated Classis: Alice Through the You Tube.

Meat Grinder

What's an Imax cave?

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

You are my sunshine!

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

"Steamed vegetables."

Don Quixote is Caged (Don Quixote).

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

'The boss said I never made any profits and I never found customers worth mentioning and that's why he promoted me to the company's chief bad example!'

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

'This one is for serving 27 years in the military without anyone finding out I'm gay.'

"Amateurs."