Metamorphosis Mystic T-Shirts

No, he's not metamorphosing. He's in a time-out.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

"You're not the same pupa you were when we first met."

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

"You've changed."

"If I knew when this was going to end, it wouldn't be so stressful."

'You've changed.'

'I really don't know how you got here with your life line!'

Ill next Thursday

Amateur Palmist

"True, you're a butterfly now, but you still think like a caterpillar."

'You are being haunted by the spirit of a slimmer, trimmer, you.'

Hog Futures

'Sorry Bruce, but we have to stop seeing each other: I've changed, you have to understand...'

"Okay brother Bickle, you can keep your underpants on"

Fortunes. Tarot. Palms. You punched the fortune teller just because he was smiling? I always wanted to strike a happy medium.

"We were so happy doc. . . but then she changed!"

'Ha Ha! Stop seeing astrally and look behind you, Bob!'

"The fact that you're here means you will continue to make poor life decisions."

Yeah, I woke up as a roach because I was so full of existential dread – Why did you wake up as a dung beetle?

"Nothing is as it seems, my son."

Caterpillar Paranoia

"Are you sure you want to spend the winter here?"

"Your life will soon resemble a soggy old clump of leaves."

"I don't feel ready to commit to a cacoon, either, but do you ever worry we'll wake up one day and be forty and still caterpillars?"

"I don't believe it. That's my ex-wife."

DOUR and TROUBADOUR

Insect Police. There's his mug shot and this is a computer generated image of what he might look like today.

'I may charge a lot but you get much more through me. I'm a psychic large.'

"No! Of course you're beautiful, now. . . it's just that, ever since you showed me those baby photos of you. Well, I just can't seem to get those images out of my head."

'Well, I'll be darned! It looks like just a lot of the same old stuff from here on out for you.'