Message Decryptor T-Shirts

"I fear he's the bearer of bad news."

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

Barks in code.

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

Your Leaders Putting Words Into More Words

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'

'Stocks shot up. . . no one on the committee could understand a word that Bernanke was saying.'

Information vs. confusion

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

"It's a pizza leaflet..."

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

'I'll be right with you after I've checked my messages, dear...'

"Let me guess: Step two, add sand."

'Right there is where he departs from the script.'

'...we were able to hide some rather significant losses.'

"I'm not sure she really liked our gift. She used just two exclamation points after 'Thanks'."

"Leave the lights burning when you go home. Pass it on."

'The first commandment is: Thou shalt not shoot the messenger.'

"You got my text... but did you get my subtext?"

"Hey, got your message. Just wanted to let you know you spelled 'desperately' wrong."

'Baby and Child Care Guidelines'

'I'll be right with you. I need to check my messages.'

Never choose a vacation spot by its posters.

"This is my voice mail."

Russian Missiles Incognito

A prediction.

Marooned Optometrist

'It's from the bloke on the other island. It reads; Help. I'm stranded on a desert island.'

Text/Subtext Message

Two tourists inspecting a French sign

"If we could decipher their language we'd have a clue to their intelligence levels."

'Connect insert A, B, and C into slots D, E, and F. Tighten using assembly tool G. What in the H are they talking about?'

Dept of statistics: 'vital...nonessential'.

'have you ever taken a good look at your paycheck stub? There's one area for what we get and ten different areas for what somebody else gets.'