Message Decryptor T-Shirts

"I fear he's the bearer of bad news."

Barks in code.

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'

Your Leaders Putting Words Into More Words

Information vs. confusion

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

"It's a pizza leaflet..."

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

'I'll be right with you after I've checked my messages, dear...'

"Let me guess: Step two, add sand."

'Right there is where he departs from the script.'

"Leave the lights burning when you go home. Pass it on."

'...we were able to hide some rather significant losses.'

"I'm not sure she really liked our gift. She used just two exclamation points after 'Thanks'."

'The first commandment is: Thou shalt not shoot the messenger.'

"You got my text... but did you get my subtext?"

'I'll be right with you. I need to check my messages.'

"Hey, got your message. Just wanted to let you know you spelled 'desperately' wrong."

'Baby and Child Care Guidelines'

A prediction.

Russian Missiles Incognito

"This is my voice mail."

Never choose a vacation spot by its posters.

Marooned Optometrist

'It's from the bloke on the other island. It reads; Help. I'm stranded on a desert island.'

Text/Subtext Message

Two tourists inspecting a French sign

"If we could decipher their language we'd have a clue to their intelligence levels."

'have you ever taken a good look at your paycheck stub? There's one area for what we get and ten different areas for what somebody else gets.'

'Connect insert A, B, and C into slots D, E, and F. Tighten using assembly tool G. What in the H are they talking about?'

Dept of statistics: 'vital...nonessential'.

But this doesn't really define me