Mess Monster Tamer Gifts

"When was the last time you cleaned the fridge?"

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

Why would birdie need newspaper?

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

Parenting Business Deals

'You know that bottle of ink that was standing on the desk...?'

'Thank goodness for clumsy children: A spilt ice-cream!'

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

Education Guidance

Fat Kid 31- Pet slug runs amok

'...and this is the Mess.'

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

'Mr Godzilla - you need anger management!'

"Can I help it if dirt is attracted to me?"

"That's the last time I invite the boys round..."

"We should take life one step at a time." "OK, but not right now...there's some dogs do-do right in front of us!"

"You goo-goo, you gaa-gaa. But when push comes to shove, you whaa-whaa."

'Don't worry about the dishes. I did them.'

"You give Sticky Keys a new meaning."

'It's an emergency! The sitter wants to know where Marmaduke's doggie treats are!'

'Now, you'd better pick up your toys or no bath!'

Glasses half full, half empty, half assed.

"Of course you feel great. These things are loaded with antidepressants."

'This isn't my closet - this is my room.'

'The cat did it.'

'Mom, don't worry about the floor. I took my shoes off!'

"I don't think so, Ted!"

"After viewing the video footage, it wasn't the dog making the mess, after all..."

"It was my imaginary friend Gravity."

Veterinarian at a large animal clinic staring up at a huge beast.