Mess Mitigator Pillows

'But I can't take my muddy boots off - I'm not wearing any!'

'Mom, don't worry about the floor. I took my shoes off!'

'Don't look at me. I'm not the one who puts the measuring cups where I can't reach them.'

Why would birdie need newspaper?

Toddler Feeding Solutions

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

"And this is our son Danny's room. Danny is being raised by wolves."

'Thank goodness for clumsy children: A spilt ice-cream!'

'You know that bottle of ink that was standing on the desk...?'

'He refused to climb the ladder without a safety net.'

'...and this is the Mess.'

Fat Kid 31- Pet slug runs amok

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

"That's the last time I invite the boys round..."

'We'll just blame it on the fish.'

Darlene, my intelligence tells me that your fiance is a slob. What intelligence, Rudy? Surveillance photos – dirty clothes and towels thrown on the floor. Dishes piled up in the sink. That's my Mel? How did you get those? Top-flight government spy methods. House of Java.net Cybercafe.

"Can I help it if dirt is attracted to me?"

"We should take life one step at a time." "OK, but not right now...there's some dogs do-do right in front of us!"

Glasses half full, half empty, half assed.

No, I seriously doubt a DNA test would exonerate you.

"You give Sticky Keys a new meaning."

"I didn't say he was housebroken. I said he broke up the house."

'Don't worry about the dishes. I did them.'

'This isn't my closet - this is my room.'

Why children, apples and honey should not be left unsupervised.

'The cat did it.'

Happy Birthday MUM!

'I need something to spill.'

"You call this a mere bagatelle?"

"It was my imaginary friend Gravity."

"After viewing the video footage, it wasn't the dog making the mess, after all..."

"And WHATEVER you do DON'T FALL DOWN THE STEPS or put your finger in the ELECTRICITY socket."

An occassional clean out should prevent unpleasant smells.

"Dude, you gotta get out here and clean this pool more often."

"It's the U.N. inspectors, Michael. They want access to your room."