Mess Management Guru Gifts

'You must excuse us. Things are a bit upside-down at the moment.'

Darlene, my intelligence tells me that your fiance is a slob. What intelligence, Rudy? Surveillance photos – dirty clothes and towels thrown on the floor. Dishes piled up in the sink. That's my Mel? How did you get those? Top-flight government spy methods. House of Java.net Cybercafe.

Why would birdie need newspaper?

Child Being Dirty in the Bath.

Toddler Feeding Solutions

'You know that bottle of ink that was standing on the desk...?'

"And this is our son Danny's room. Danny is being raised by wolves."

College student cleans messy dorm room littered with clothes with leafsnow blower

Woman feeding baby is covered in food.

"Teddy, you call this a 'clean room'?"

'...and this is the Mess.'

"That's the last time I invite the boys round..."

'I've organised the bathroom.'

'We'll just blame it on the fish.'

"These pills will cure your O.C.D., but first I wonder if you could organize my shelves."

"We should take life one step at a time." "OK, but not right now...there's some dogs do-do right in front of us!"

"You give Sticky Keys a new meaning."

No, I seriously doubt a DNA test would exonerate you.

Decluttering. . .

'Don't track mud in the house! 'IT'S NOT MUD! IT'S DOG POO!'

'The cat did it.'

Why children, apples and honey should not be left unsupervised.

"Don't forget to wash your hands."

"I watched that Marie Kondo program on decluttering and decided to get rid of Norman."

"Dude, you gotta get out here and clean this pool more often."

"After viewing the video footage, it wasn't the dog making the mess, after all..."

An occassional clean out should prevent unpleasant smells.

"It was my imaginary friend Gravity."

Happy Birthday MUM!

Rubbing alcoholics anonymous.

Kid sweeps dirt under his junk on the floor.

"It's the U.N. inspectors, Michael. They want access to your room."

"You've really outdid yourself this time. A real masterpiece!"

An artist tells a child off for dripping ice cream on the floor

'I did my part of house cleaning, now it's your time...it's shovel ready'