Merry Mileage T-Shirts

"I'll get my 10,000 steps in tonight!"

"I used to love power, but now I'm more interested in mileage."

"Gesundheit!"

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

Man whistles while driving his car.

"...and you've got private use of it, so long as you don't exceed 10,000 mile per annum.'

'This buggy gets only about one mile per gal.'

Ski Lift Glove Fishing

"Howard may have a few miles on him, but I'm not ready for a trade-in just yet."

Rudolph Red Light District

"It's this marvelous little liberal-arts college in Kansas that gives frequent-flier miles."

"You gotta love the mpg we're getting!"

'As a patient I'm glad because the doctor cured me. As a lawyer I'm sad because there's no reason to sue that guy.'

'No wonder you can't relax! Seven hundred miles in one day!'

'Your honor, my client requests the maximum bail possible so that he can post it with his frequent-flier credit card.'

'Just as I thought...made in Alaska!'

"Do you have a seat in business with a view of economy?"

"Stand back? corrupt file."

Frequent Flier Tom Walstrom, on his way to Seattle, passes his luggage on it's way to L.A.

"I won't know if it's a vacation till I see if they accept my miles."

"Use the platinum card—I need the miles."

'We're curious as to why you claimed double the amount of miles you slithered for business purposes over the last two tax years?'

'Here's your problem - you need more air in your tires for better gas mileage...'

Melting snowman tries to hitch a ride north.

'Only 5000 miles on the clock.'

"This is Harold. . . He's in charge of office merriment."

Road, Sky, Land, Radio, You - Next 300 Miles

'With all I've learned about psychology recently, establishing who's naughty and who's nice is not as simple as it used to be.'

"What were those songs you were singing?"

Driver Showdown

"Your ticket was $340, but the flight is extra."

"O.K. just one more item. Who gets the frequent-flier miles?"

'Nurse! The chart says comatose, not comb his toes!'

'The second opinion I got advised me to sue you for malpractice.'

Driver with Road Toll meter in car yelling 'How many more miles is it??!'