Merger Whisperer T-Shirts

"Because of our merger, Henshaw, we have to let you go..."

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

"Well, at least we know she died peacefully."

Opening the door to new customers

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

"Do you swear to calm the jittery financial markets, all the jittery financial markets and nothing but the jittery financial markets, so help you God?"

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'Can you loan me *** till pay day?'

Man and Machine snoozing

Two computers are having a conversation, but stop when their owner enters the room.

'Tell me more about your programmer.'

'Your 11:15 is here, to ratify the new agreement.'

"Can you help me? I'm having a little trouble working the shredder."

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

'The computer can talk to terminals all over the country. Bentley thinks it's talking about him.'

Computer whisperer.

"The biggest downside of funding IT startups... is being called 'dude'!"

we wanted to get rid of all the 'superbugs' but they were the only one's who understood the new it system

'Stocks fell on the perception that stocks would fall on the perception that stocks were falling.'

WWW.World.com

Happiness is a warm warm iPad.

You will do as I command...'It had a power surge.'

'Boy, are the markets getting sensitive, anymore.'

"You say there's a dip in the market?"

"Have you thought about early retirement?"

'I see you have a stock market/body connection.'

The fax machine had stopped and they did not know why.

"I'm getting subtle hints of what the Fed might do."

'Excellent! Our tests confirm that the average shareholder falls asleep by page 9 of the 10-K. Place the notice of the IRS audit on page 10.'

'You're very tense today.'

"Sorry, honey, I can't talk now. I'm in the midst of some very intense negotiations with Bill Gates on the electronic rights to you and the kids."

"I can't keep giving you stock tips. The SEC has been making 'insider trading' inquiries."