Merchant Navy Gifts

'I want to be the first mountain goat to sail the seven seas...'

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

Servicemen.

When laundry ruled the waves.

"As I was only saying the other day..."

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

'If we get out of this alive, I'm going to have a darn good look at your resume.'

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

Sea weed harvest.

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

"You may be in love, but can you support my daughter on what a herring makes?"

COWMIKAZES

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"There she be, lads, the special economic zone!"

"And you guarantee it's free if it isn't delivered within thirty minutes?"

'So, what do you want to talk about?'

"It's the most hostile takeover I've ever been involved in"

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

"Call me Ishmael."

"Before we made the leap to cyberspace, our stockholders made us promise we'd maintain a traditional street presence, too!"

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

"Today's numbers. . . seashells up one, lobsters up three, claims down one, mussels up one . . ."

"We're gonna make, Rose! Keep washing your hands!"

On the plus side, I'd wager a lot of you folks back there had never seen an iceburg up close before.

London merchant telling a young employee that if he does not change his behaviour his career will go badly and he may end up becoming mayor

"Sir, our hood ornament is slowing us down."

"You're absolutely sure my wife won't be able to find this?"

'It was only a joke. I never thought they's accept me.'

Admiral in the bath.

"Re-calculating, arrive at your final destination in six...five...four..."

The grazing deck of the Titanic.

Suez Canal Curse

"Gasp! Pant! Is it good for you, Marjorie?"