Merchandise Maven Gifts

"Here's another song about the merch table t-shirt you'll regret not buying."

Out of a movie theatre and into the retailer's net.

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

The day the stock market went UP.

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

Apples for sale

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

Guy has framed 'first Yuan'

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

"#Win!"

Creative department

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

"I'm not happy about what the economists are predicting."

Made in China

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

European currency on the edge.

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

Slipping and sliding down the slope...

Direct Marketing...

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

Trade Show Sherpas

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

'This is where I hang out until bullishness makes a comeback.'

'Okay, okay, be patient!'

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'