Menu Wordsmith Gifts

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Thru versus Through Traffic

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

"Meet The Author"

"Do me next."

First Novels.

"She's been so creative lately."

Edgar Allen Poe

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

Backfire

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Cut Price

Someone who knows apostrophes

Why we need poetry. . .

What's normal?

Gone With the Wind: The Beach Blanket

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'