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"Stephen and I are today's special."

Fish House: catch of the day...$9.95, catch of yesterday...$6.95, catch of the day before...$3.95, fish soup...$1.95.

"You didn't say 'excellent choice' when I ordered! What did I do wrong?"

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

Party time.

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

'How is the water prepared?'

'What'll it be?'

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

American style Greek cafe.

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

National Coffee Day

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

'Physical or Social Science?'

"How 'local' is the fish?"

'This 'homework,' was it done today?'

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'