Menu Marathoner T-Shirts

"Why, yes, we have expanded our menu."

Bowled over again!

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

American Idle.

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

"Is the MSG local?"

Party time.

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

Full English Breakfast.

'Men order. . . women shop.'

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

'How is the water prepared?'

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

"Let's finish off our night of being productive by starting another season."

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."

Starvation Watching

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

"This is his fifteenth successive Olympics."

"Celebrating Labor Day assumes you've labored at least one day during the previous year."

Birthday To-Do List

Inactive wear store.

John Stride

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

"Steak, Richard, is just grown up veal."

'Where exactly did you get this 'Lifestyle Guru' from?'