Mentoring Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Norman, mentoring is not about making everybody else the same as you.'

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

'When I was young, I said I'd make it big or know the reason why - Well, I sure know the reason why!'

'Before we start, shall we go round the table, and each share our name and a horrible dark secret from our past.'

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

"That's six 'noes' and one 'aye', the ayes have it"

"I'm less a role model than a cautionary tale."

Children's education

Hanging off every word...

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

'My team likes to see me spring into action.'

Super Student

'I believe in a 'carrot and stick' approach to motivation. The carrot is not to use the stick.'

"Excuse me a moment, whilst I just change hats."

"Always take the bull firmly by the tail and look him directly in the eye..."

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

'Anyone who opposes the plan I'm about to propose please signify by saying 'I resign.''

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

'Congratulations, Yomp - we're giving you a bigger carrot!'

Dedication to excellence....

"Listen here pup, it's time you realized it's a "dog eat dog" world."

'Ms. Snack, prepare the conference room for an executive sting.'

'The secret to my success? Even as a kid, I never accepted that annoying phrase, 'None of your business.''