Mental Wellness Advocates T-Shirts

"O.K., maybe I need to change my life, or maybe you could just tweak my medication."

November: "It's only 4:15, but it's pitch dark!"

"I want you to know that the fact that you're my favorite therapist has nothing to do with the great ice cream stand you have in your office."

'I can't just screw things up. Oh no, I have to do it royally.'

'You have to learn to accept the things you can't change.' 'Even Geraldo?'

Psychological Umbrella

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'Look, you can only do so much!'

America, are we learning anything?

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

Areas of the Body Where Stress Can Manifest

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"Postwar is hell."

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

"But if you cure my hypochondria I won't have any hobbies."

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

"Try thinking about something else."

Window Treatment

"I sometimes think you're the only one who listens to me."

"Talking to your own reflection? Even your imagination is pathetic."

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

The new normal

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

'I knew things were getting out of hand when I went from snips, to snails, to puppy dogs tails....'

"AHHHH, MORNING!"