Mental Maintenance Enthusiast Gifts

As he turned 40 Stuart realised mental flossing had become part of his routine.

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

Neighbor Leaf Wars

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

"Excuse me, Doc, my attention wandered. What type of deficit disorder did you say I had?"

"Why can’t this count as ‘date night’?"

Lazy plumber.

'Lately my business instincts and intuitions have been on opposing sides.'

'I feel like such a failure: They have to process my milk to make it low-fat...'

'During the next commercial, I'd like to talk to you about your childhood.'

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

'Pencil on couch being psycho analysed.'

"Why do you feel you have an inner conflict?"

"If you need anything in the building, just call the super. This is the only known photo of him."

I've been feeling sluggish lately.

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

Psychiatrist: Mind over matter filing trays.

''Normal' seems too much to shoot for ... but maybe I can keep you out of the nuthouse.'

"You must learn to let go."

'Now while you're cranking the Jack in the Box Tommy, I want you to tell me your thoughts.'

"Go back! The place is full of mold!"

If dogs were psychiatrists.

"We can work up to antidepressants, but for now I want to start you on eating a whole jar of cocktail olives over the kitchen sink."

"You really are one hell of a therapy dog."

Welcome: How Does that Make You Feel?

When did you last have your oil changed?

'I had a very unhappy egghood....'

'An alternative to having me psychoanalyze you is to write a book and have the critics do it.'

"I'm going to probe the depths of Mr. Osgood's psyche, Miss Wigley - Have the smelling salts ready."

"And then she said, 'You're wearing that to the psychiatrist?'"

"That's ridiculous. I do not have a superiority complex."

"It's times like this I wish I was ore than just an armchair plumber."