Mental Health Navigator Gifts

"This is not working. Can I go back on the valium?"

"The bad news is that the voices in my head have started text messaging me."

"Thanks for calling the therapy helpline. For anxiety issues, press 1. For relationship advice, press 2. For anger management, throw the phone across the room..."

Psychiatrist gag

'Occasionally the Dr. asks me to get real with people.'

'A second opinion? -- Are you trying to mess with my self-esteem?'

Inner...Village idiot?

"You're sucking all the fun out of my misery."

"I feel we're almost down to bedrock, Mr. Bonwell."

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Clinic

'Gracious, it's gone time for my anti-depressant pill!'

'You think you have a hard life? -- I have to listen to crazy people every day!'

I feel like a hurricane on a tv weather forecast, Dr. Kapuchnik. I'm surrounded by a "cone of uncertainty."

"It's Jung out there, son"

"Sorry about the grime, Doc. I had to burn some bridges on my way here to keep the crazies from following me."

"That's it? £175 for 'Life's a bowl of cherries, don't take it serious,it's too mysterious'."

"Did you like have some weird conflict with your father or something growing up?"

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

"Brian's fine. He`s got his own coping mechanism."

The Chicken Who Crossed the Road, in therapy. My motives are always being questioned!

"But what if this is all there is?"

I applied for a job with NASA but they turned me down. I think it was because I told them I wanted to be an astronaut because in space, you can't cry because there's no gravity and tears can't flow.

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

". . . but he's almost four and he hasn't been labelled yet!"

'Sometimes I think if it wasn't for Lucy here, I'd go mad.'

"Has anyone seen my therapist?"

"If find people express themslves more freely in traffic jams."

Unsmiley face at the psychiatrist...

Well, I feel a lot better - he says there's a method to my madness.

Caption Contest TK

"Adolescence can be a very trying time, Mr. Alcorn."

'Guess what! I got my act together! And this is it!'

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

"Well, I finally saw a shrink today."