Mental Health Comic Relief Gifts

'The Neurosis Pack.'

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

T-Shirt reads: 'Out of mind, I won't be back.'

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

'Do you know how much it cost me to LEARN all this psychobabble?'

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

"Legally, I have the right to talk as slowly and boringly about all your options as I want."

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

Man Gives Computer Therapy/

'Actually, I'm a placebo psychiatrist.'

Calm down...this is for your own good.

Fakir Shrink.

"Every now and then, I get an overpowering urge to wear a cowbell."

"So, Michael, any pesticidal thoughts today?"

Psychobabble.

"Therapist: Six couches no waiting"

'I think Mr. Teddy's getting too dependent on me.'

Bob's mother drove him crazy - but at least she came to visit.

Shrink's Summer Job

"Westwood psychiatric group... How may I direct your cry for help?"

"I don't feel like I'm making any progress, it's like I'm just chasing my tail again."

'The bartender referred me to a shoe shine boy, and the shoe shine boy referred me to you.'

Are you getting enough "me" time, Al? Oh, more than enough, Doctor

'Oh, Freud is too darn hard to read -- I switched to Dr. Phil years ago.'

'My therapist suggested I redirect my anger into landscaping and gardening!'

'Your case is extremely interesting...and I would like to get it produced...it will be a comedy.'

'Miss Caldwell, call security and send in the kleptomaniac.'

'Maybe all I really need is a hug.'

'It's paranoia, but a very benign form - he thinks Al Gore is out to get him.'

'Well - the layman's terminology for your condition is 'nutty as an acorn''

Psychologist warns patient about his fish. 'Careful...the gold one is passive-aggressive.'

"Doctor, I find you very easy to talk to."

It's called Pagliacci therapy, Al. We're going to replace all of your petty little neuroses with one big, healthy, all-consuming fear of clowns.

"Don't worry. Very soon you'll be back to what passes as normal for you."