Memory Myth Debunker Pillows

'So you've forgotten something - it happens to us all...'

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"I don't care what you thought you saw,l there are no such things as people"

"...it was believed that anyone who displeased it would meet with a terrible fate, which of course is complete nonsen..."

"Are you one of these youngsters who has a very short attention span?"

"For decades we lemmings have been jumping off cliffs. Dude, it's time to evolve!"

"Wait ... now I forgot what I was going to bark at you for."

"He thinks he learned a new trick - I don't have the heart to tell him it's just an old trick he forgot he knew."

"In science class, we learned that a solar eclipse is not due to a rolling blackout."

'Of course I've done something about Lady Godiva -- I had security cameras installed all over town!'

"Do I still believe in Santa Claus? I don't even believe in Congress."

"Recent studies now show that people who use the aphorism ‘whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ have compromised immune systems."

Doping

Tall stories

"Say, Buddy. . . do you pick-ups as well?"

'We'll soon know whether or not the Easter rabbit is real.'

Useless-memory lane

Another myth dispelled.

'There are those who say that in America the streets are paved with excrement.'

When my memory was good, I could copy them word for word. These days, I'm lucky if I can paraphrase.

Do you realise the gravity of this situation?

Rise of the Drones

'I did create man in my image, but man evolved.'

"It's all marketing - no one actually wears that stuff."

'The Easter bunny doesn't come down the chimney. He hides his eggs in the backyard.'

Another myth de-bunked.

"I assure you that you don't have Alzheimer's because you paid my fee last week."

"My advice to you...fuhgeddaboudit."

"Mayonnaise....maaaayonnaise...."

"Of course, the whole lemming suicides thing is a myth ? the reason for these deaths is that mass migrations can last many months and lemmings become too tired to avoid cliff edges. Except Derek, but he always was a miserable bastard."

"Oh, no - this introvert talked to me all night at a party, and I can't remember her name."

'Don't distract me now: I have only a few seconds to text myself a reminder before I forget...'

STRIP Hambone: Stolen laptops

"I'm just worried that I've let myself become a follower."

"You know humans eat eight of us in their sleep every year."