Memoirist With A Twist Pillows

"I'm working on texting my memoirs."

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

I figured out how we can pay for the kids' college tuitions. Do tell. I'm going to leave for a year of self-discovery, which I will chronicle in a best-selling memoir. Oh, but

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

Display of political memoirs books categorized as: 'Non-fiction,' 'Fiction,' and 'Pure Fantasy'.

I'm currently working on my autobiography. Would you care to help make page 327 interesting?

Super Bowl Halftime Show Barbra Streisand reads from her memoir.

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

'I'm sorry but my little boy, Jack, ruined them all today.'

"Good lord, Billingsworth. You've stumbled onto the legendary Lepidopterist Graveyard."

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

'He tells me there's one chapter of his memoir titled, 'My Likeable Master'.'

I came, I saw, I partied!

"I remembered that time you said you wished you had a biographer."

'Oh, I'm just writing a tender memoir or my long ago affair with J.F.K...it's filled with pathos and sad wishful longing...'

'Man, I'm age 21 now and so far, I haven't done anything important. Things can't go on like this or I will have to forget my plan to become rich and famous by writing my autobiography at age 35!'

"If there is a heaven, why do we end up as fossil fuel?"

'The end. Well, time for bed. What are you writing?'

"It was only when I started to write the story of my life that I realised I'd forgotten to have one."

"I'm writing a memoir. It's mostly recipes."

K9 Authors.

'You understand, of course, that my memoirs must be written in ELITE type.'

'I want a scurrilous biography. If it was good enough for Getty, it will be good enough for me.'

Noah Sent and Received the First Tweet

"I think, therefore I am depressed."

'I've read your manuscript-it's a miracle you survived all the booze, sex, and drugs while on your world tour, but are you sure you want it published during an election year senator?'

Rudy, I loved your memoir. It was fascinating. The way you overcame huge odds to invent the computer. How you went on to protect us from government surveillance. You know none of it's true. The way you swore yourself to humility. People so want to believe a good story.

Eva Schloss

'That's right...his appendix...and it's pure dynamite! Don't you see? It'll be the ultimate insider celebrity memoir!'

Woman at bookshop counter says: 'The Political Memoirs Wing is through there.'

"I loved your embarrassing personal essay in the 'Times.' "

I get my ideas on sale...

My memoirs - 'I've character assassinated the target.'

"Don't try to blame this mess on your father!"