Meme Guru Pillows

"No one reads them, all wisdom flows on WhatsApp now."

Polly txt speak

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

Moses on the web

'Bert's dog training.'

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

'So do you want me to minute that George is dying of boredom and Nigel will rip my head off if I don't stop boring him with my blather?'

Obsession with the Internet.

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

"Textin’"

'We will not kick the can down the road... Does anyone know how to use a can opener?'

"I didn't say my dog ate my homework. I said Russian bots ate my homework."

Moo Out Loud

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

'But this is fantastic, professor! It's like no language I've ever seen before!'

"The only problem with living at the top of a mountain is the constant stream of people coming to ask stupid questions."

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

Twitter censorship

"God, I HATE this planet..!"

"Ugh—someone in the group chat must have seen a squirrel."

Spammatic blaster - gun to shoot pop-up ads.

Leonardo Da Vinci paints a selfie

Sistine Selfie

WTF?

Alternative Medicine

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'