Membership Seeker T-Shirts

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

"It seemed like miles to me!"

"Business is booming! Come in and see our explosive sales today!"

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

The Female Brain and The Other One

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

'I'm looking for male bonding, but I'm a little rusty.'

"I need to know if you're really serious about our relationship."

'Of course it's high in protein. Just look at this!'

Irregulars

"To be honest...if it wasn't for the dog I wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

Alternative Medicine. Group Hug.

'You have a friend request.'

'We still have a few minor issues to work out: I want a huge wedding and he wants to be single.'

"That's what I love about the game - it's so social."

"Oh don't mind us, we are just having a small get together!"

'Love and marriage?- I'm afraid I can't help you much with that, young fellow.'

The Basic Blueprint for 99% of Today's Conversations (or So it Seems)

"Oh come on, rejoin the party. After all, no man is an isl –"

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy.' You in?"

'Nobody likes me at school. I need a personal assistant, a trainer and a P.R. firm!'

I brake for all 50 off Sales.

"Pace yourself, Mother."

"Better than a hunting dog - she sniffs out wifi hotspots."

"It's my emotional-support beard."

Unplugged.

'I'm just looking for a committed relationship. I'm sick of all the games.'

'And do you vow to give her all of your login passwords until death do you part?'