Melon Maven T-Shirts

'This is great, a fruit you can eat, drink . . . and wash your ears with.'

Muscles

Mendelssohn Finds His Inspiration

"Forget sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm going for buns of steel!"

Myths and legends...

"Like that?"

Enterpe, Terpsichore, Calliope, and Bernie, their agent.

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

'They say you have to drink 4 times as much merlot as pinot noir to get the same level of anti-oxidants. Isn't that just too, too bad?'

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

'I suppose you think that's funny.'

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

"Is Madonna amazing or what? She sings, dances, and acts, and now it turns out she's a writer, too."

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

Musical genres

"This is off our first TikTok."

'Ok, who's been playing rap music in front of the bird?!'

'I'm putting you on a diet: No more fat knights, maidens only...'

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

'Sorry, you're just not built right for weightlifting.'

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Top Ten Hit

'I wasn't responding well to the pills but my doctor finally got my mood stabilized.'

Nick Cave

Don't bother Daddy -- he's just upset because Lady Godiva joined the anti-Crusade movement.'

"We'd like bruschetta, and we'd like it pronounced correctly."

Moon Souvenirs

'There are shortcuts to making home brew, but taking a swig of malt extract and letting it ferment in your mouth isn't one of them.'

Leonard Cohen

"Why do humming birds hum? Because they don't know the lyrics."

Body Building Mishap

"It's a cross between pop and rap. We call it 'pap.'"

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

The Music Lover.

'You can read, right? -- I want you to check this thing for loopholes.'