Melody Fixer Gifts

"Earl is stuck on that note again. Give him a good kick."

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

"I hoped you'd change your hobby when you became a father"

New music conference

"I don't know who you are!"

Waiting for Pants

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

"Fido's determined to find that bone."

Birds with Headphones

Delivering red ink to the Berueu of Management and Budget.

"We probably need to rethink our revenue strategy for the practice."

A man sews broken hearts back together.

"It got so bad that had to bring Jones in to turn things around."

'I told him over and over again never to press 'delete' more than twice!'

"Post-holiday dieting will be much easier this year. Our disposable cash flow will be diverted."

'Of course we can fix your sweater but we'll have to contact the sheep to match the wool!'

'Let me tell you why I'm here...'

"There's no point in our being friends if you won't let me fix you."

Record department with rock, crossover and classical sections.

'My wife doesn't understand me.'

"I'd like to get something for my wife. Do you have any olive branches?"

Son? We need to talk about inappropriate life choices. I was joking. I'm not going to be an investment banker. Great! I'd hate to see you waste your talents. There are plenty of other jobs. Like the fixer who disappears famous athletes' awkward e-mails. You'll always be employed.

"Get back here and clean out your desk."

A woman repairs a broken heart.

It's too hard to clean my closet. Take out everything. Throw them into "keep", "donate" or "toss" boxes. Ok. Done!

"Our marriage has been experiencing a spot of turbulence lately."

Man looks for wife help from machine.

'That's your solution to everything, isn't it? Throw a bucket of glitter over it.'

'How should I know why my daughter has not spoken to me in over a month, stupid!'

"Do you want to watch another episode or heal our relationship?"