Meeting Planner Extraordinaire Pillows

'I'm afraid we had to cancel the 'perfect planning' seminar. By the time we got around to booking the hotel was full and speaker we hoped to use died in 1967...'

'That meeting we're going to have when hell freezes over. . . I need to reschedule it.'

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

Tartine

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

"Ahhh....I think that was a flying fuck."

Shaken not stirred

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

'Sorry, miss. It seems to be stuck!'

We Have A Lot To Cover.....

Where do you see yourself five years from today, dork-boy? 43 Breen Road. What are you talking about? It's where everyone wants to go. It's the most popular AirBnB in San Francisco. The earliest opening they had was five years from today. Just book a hotel. Hotels are so 2007.

Wedding Fayre

Conference Pears

"I'll be there in three 'All Too Well's."

'Many Happy Redundan... HA! RETURNS of the day, Mackay.'

EXTROVERTS ANONYMOUS

'To address this mistake we must use root-cause analysis. I'll begin by saying it's not my fault.'

"Dammit, Higgins, we don't need simple explanations, we need complicated excuses!"

'We'll also need to do a credit/blame analysis.'

Prenuptial Wedding Cake

'There's no mention of stuffing. Keep going until you get to the sugar and spice.'

Meetings and Conventions - Warfare

Saleswoman holds mirror up to the backside of the bride's dress

"Do we want to tackle this head on, or just stun it with a glancing blow until Monday?"

'This isn't the meeting. This is the pre-premeeting to talk about when to meet and plan the meeting.'

'Smile and say: tofu-based dairy substitute.'

"We could have a Do-It-Yourself wedding! Your friends could do the cake and flowers, Uncle Jim could do the photos..."

"It's a dog-eat-dog economy. And I'm the Doberman."

"So that's five for bailing, and three for patching. If there are no objections, the chair will now hear arguments."

'How are we supposed to think the unthinkable if we have to drink the drinkable?'

Budget Munchies

'Do you cater weddings?' Why the groom is never put in charge of anything.

'Any wriggle room?'

"Jenkins, I think you'll find the 'Any Other Business' section at the end of the agenda."