Meeting Motivator T-Shirts

"We finally found a way to bottle enthusiasm."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

"I'm Jackson, your new micro-manager."

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

"Best project manager we ever had."

"I always try to give out at least one genuine compliment per day. I don't always succeed."

GCSEs

We Have A Lot To Cover.....

'All in favor of just laughing it off, say ha, ha, ha.'

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

I didn't want to become the company president, but the board of directors left me no choice. You were backed into a corner office.

'Great idea, Philpott. Wish you'd thought of it.'

"You're wondering why I've called you here."

When we believe together we achieve together.

'To address this mistake we must use root-cause analysis. I'll begin by saying it's not my fault.'

'A good leader can lead them to water, but a great leader can also make them drink.'

"So, it's agreed - we lay off the stick and hit them hard with the carrot."

"Dammit, Higgins, we don't need simple explanations, we need complicated excuses!"

Office Politics

'We'll also need to do a credit/blame analysis.'

"Do we want to tackle this head on, or just stun it with a glancing blow until Monday?"

'The Rush Orders department is a shambles, Briggs, and I think you're just the man to turn it around,'

'I've drawn up a health and safety policy for the company.'

'Sir, Ms. Selby is here for your 3:00 meeting.'

'...and if you guys keep screwing up, I'm gonna have to start kicking some butt!'

We're one big happy family here. What I'm looking for is a man who can make it work.

"Why don't you try learning from your own mistakes?"

Suggestion box: 'Build a bigger Complaints box'.

People, what a fantastic opportunity for a reset!

Sinking sales

"Yes, we do have an incentive scheme - fall below that line and you're sacked."

'You're my best employee. You're punctual, ambitious and precise. The problem is ... it scares the devil out of my other employees.'

'And one, and two, and three, and don't get discouraged Manatee, and four, and five...'