Workplace Motivator T-Shirts

"So, it's agreed - we lay off the stick and hit them hard with the carrot."

Motivation: No Recognition, Poor Rewards, Bureaucracy.

'We're not exactly sure why it works yet but his productivity is up 50.'

'Our new vision'

'The new incentive scheme seems to be working.'

We're one big happy family here. What I'm looking for is a man who can make it work.

When we believe together we achieve together.

"I'm Jackson, your new micro-manager."

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

'If you can keep him clean for a day you can sleep in his bed tonight.'

GCSEs

"Best project manager we ever had."

"I always try to give out at least one genuine compliment per day. I don't always succeed."

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

"And this is where we all gave up."

Dave realised that Clive didn't see problems,only 'challenges to be embraced'.

I didn't want to become the company president, but the board of directors left me no choice. You were backed into a corner office.

Find out that man's name and give him a rise.

'Great idea, Philpott. Wish you'd thought of it.'

'Mr. Hickey really knows how to keep our stockholders meetings short and sweet!'

"We finally found a way to bottle enthusiasm."

'A good leader can lead them to water, but a great leader can also make them drink.'

Office Politics

'The Rush Orders department is a shambles, Briggs, and I think you're just the man to turn it around,'

'...and if you guys keep screwing up, I'm gonna have to start kicking some butt!'

"Why don't you try learning from your own mistakes?"

Suggestion box: 'Build a bigger Complaints box'.

Sinking sales

People, what a fantastic opportunity for a reset!

"Corporate thinks it's time we updated our motivational strategies."

Course 'Management Skills and Employee Motivation', 09 AM - 05 PM, No breaks!

"Yes, we do have an incentive scheme - fall below that line and you're sacked."

'You're my best employee. You're punctual, ambitious and precise. The problem is ... it scares the devil out of my other employees.'

'And one, and two, and three, and don't get discouraged Manatee, and four, and five...'