Management Motivator T-Shirts

"Yes, we do have an incentive scheme - fall below that line and you're sacked."

I didn't want to become the company president, but the board of directors left me no choice. You were backed into a corner office.

'Try as I may to get my ducks in a row, here's always some turkey stepping out of line.'

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

"I'm Jackson, your new micro-manager."

'If you can keep him clean for a day you can sleep in his bed tonight.'

"Best project manager we ever had."

"I always try to give out at least one genuine compliment per day. I don't always succeed."

GCSEs

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

Dave realised that Clive didn't see problems,only 'challenges to be embraced'.

'Great idea, Philpott. Wish you'd thought of it.'

When we believe together we achieve together.

"We finally found a way to bottle enthusiasm."

'A good leader can lead them to water, but a great leader can also make them drink.'

"So, it's agreed - we lay off the stick and hit them hard with the carrot."

Office Politics

We're one big happy family here. What I'm looking for is a man who can make it work.

'The Rush Orders department is a shambles, Briggs, and I think you're just the man to turn it around,'

'...and if you guys keep screwing up, I'm gonna have to start kicking some butt!'

"Why don't you try learning from your own mistakes?"

Suggestion box: 'Build a bigger Complaints box'.

Sinking sales

People, what a fantastic opportunity for a reset!

"Corporate thinks it's time we updated our motivational strategies."

Course 'Management Skills and Employee Motivation', 09 AM - 05 PM, No breaks!

'You're my best employee. You're punctual, ambitious and precise. The problem is ... it scares the devil out of my other employees.'

'And one, and two, and three, and don't get discouraged Manatee, and four, and five...'

Support, Encourage, Inspire.

'I like to reward my employees for doing a good job. That's why I keep treats in my pockets when I walk past the cubicles.'

"Can you run that past me again, Watson - you seem to have lost me."

'A raise might destroy their initiative. The good old carrot and stick bonus keeps them focused.'

'We're not exactly sure why it works yet but his productivity is up 50.'

'Since we programmed all of Sousa's marches into their IPOD's, production is up 27%.'