Meeting Minimizer Pillows

"This could've been an email."

'It'll be a shock to the workforce, they only work two days a week.'

If Moses had been a committee, the children of Israel would still be in Egypt!

"I'm conserving my strength for the most important meeting of the day - Happy Hour."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"What's a debenture?"

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I was the loudest."

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

"We need a best practice swim lane to leverage our core competency, move the needle outside the box, and open the kimono while keeping our ducks in a row. Can anyone give me a sustainable solution to more vertical effectiveness without getting too granula

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

"It's confusing when everybody has a pointer."

"Ahhh....I think that was a flying fuck."

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

"I love these off-site business meetings."

'I want to discuss communication clarity.'

Business leader to group: 'Who's making the donkey sounds?'

We Have A Lot To Cover.....

'All in favor of just laughing it off, say ha, ha, ha.'

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

Conference Pears

'I think I found the bottleneck, Boss.'

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'

"Go ahead—unmute yourself."

"We want to include you in this decision without letting you affect it."

'Before we start, would everyone please put your cell phone in the middle of the table?'

"Just look what we can accomplish when we work towards a common goal...LUNCH!"

"Come to my office. I need to cascade with you offline."

Meetings and Conventions - Warfare

'Sir, Ms. Selby is here for your 3:00 meeting.'

'And this is where we all suddenly started getting bad vibes.'

"I excel at appearing awake in meetings."