Meeting Meltdowner Gifts

'Gentlemen, if I may have your attention please.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

We should take a break. Ron's eyes have turned into spinning rainbow wheels.

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

"What's a debenture?"

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

"Let's start with an icebreaker..."

"The meeting will come to order."

'How can we solve this problem by eating?'

"I need to see your budget proposal."

What can I do? He says it's his thinking cap.

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

"Dammit, Johnson. You've got to start thinking outside of the box."

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

'The sunglasses idea would have worked if you hadn't started snoring.'