Meeting Critics Gifts

'I've got an idea for improving productivity...Stop having meetings and start working.'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Reading my Critics

"See..? We told you there was nothing there..."

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

A man on a giant book poses as Rodin's The Thinker.

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

The new Physics

Learn to Be a Critic In The Privacy Of Your Own Home With The Apex Correspondence School Of Criticism!

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

Bureaucrats held up by the workers.

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

'Bloomsbury Group, members only'

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

Constructive Criticism 50c.

Dog writes a review: 'A sublime book, I devoured it in one sitting ...'

You're on, caller. What's your problem?! The Oscars were so very, very boring. You decided to sit in front of your tv for four hours watching rich people give themselves awards. YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE ENTERTAINED, LOSER! They're coming out with a new show called "Watching Celebrities Cash Their Checks." You'd probably enjoy that. Get professionally berated at asksadie@rudypark.com.

'Sorry I'm not at the meeting, sir

"Now this is what I call an honest little pub!"

"You'll never believe who's here."

Charlie Beck Loves Austin Beutner

Samuel Beckett

"Hang on! - we've possibly go another couple of films left in here!!"

Seamus Heaney