Mediterranean Diet Devotee Pillows

Mediterranean Martini

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

'You need to stay away from the pie in the sky.'

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'I gotta lose some weight.'

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

'The first thing you need to do is lose 40 pounds of that baby boomer fat.'

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

'I followed you advice for losing weight....i got naked and stood in front of a mirror...they threw me out of the restaurant.'

'I don't get it! I've been exercising for six weeks now and haven't lost a pound.'

'…and I want you to limit yourself to 3 feeding frenzies a day.'

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

"This is the 'carboniferous' age and we're here in the 'Carbs-Are-Really-Bad-For-Us' Age."

'No, that doesn't make any difference either, Miss Jones.'

'Bad news! More people are switching from red meat to fish!'

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

"If you order from our wellness menu, you get a side of yogurt with every dish."

'That was the best 'Filet Magnon' I've had in a while.'

"I'm right off my quinoa doc."

'It started with between-meal snacks -- now he's having between-snack noshes.'

The trick to losing weight is to eat a small portion and wait 10 minutes. By then your resolve has caught up with your appetite!

"I'm taking you off two of the four food groups."

Full fatHalf fatVirtually fat free.

Obesity Report

'When does the fridge go on a diet?'