Mediterranean Cuisine Lover Pillows

'How fresh is the calamari?'

Olives

Under pressure.

"How fresh is the calamari?"

Pasta

"Fangul." Italian sausage.

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

Tzatzikicicle

Kentucky Fried Horse

'I don't know how much more of this I can take!'

"Gigot de sept heures."

"So, I went into this fancy new butcher shop and they were selling ostrich of all things!"

'Well you asked for Al dente.'

Culture clash

"No matter how much gelato, pizza and tiramisu I eat, I gain weight. This Mediterranean diet just isn't working."

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

"We're not just some tavern, you know. Those Greek olives make us a Taverna."

Mediterranean Martini

'I WARNED you we had the largest slice in town!'

'I don't eat red meat. That's ok, this is gone green.'

'I told you I only cook with my mother's Italian spices. She just left Naples and should be here with them in about eight hours.'

'What on earth is this? Hedgehog soup.'

'Here's a good one, France on 2000 calories a day.'

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"

Roadkill Restaurant

"The insect menu is very popular nowadays."

"Our Fettuccine is eaten with spoon and fork. Angle Hair gets a comb and scissors."

The art of pizza

French man holding a dish.

"Nice going, Larry. They're going in after your liverwurst and sardine sandwich that fell behind the fridge last month."

'O.K. Smarty Pants, here's your fish, cheese, egg, strawberry jam and pickle sandwich with a topping of ice cream and mustard. Pay up!'

In the Works: Eurocheese, Eurobread, Eurowine.

'Madam, we do not discuss Julia Child at Maison Henri.'

."Negroni, Spaghettio."

"So, our holiday was cancelled but at least our tastebuds can still go to Italy."