Meditation Fans Pillows

You can't possibly be thinking about nothing if your tail is wagging.

'The truly enlightened don't NEED beer coolers!'

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"And these are the Fab Four Noble Truths."

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

Zenemies.

My God, I need to fart.

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

Meditation

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

'It says, 'Life is like a transistor.''

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

"... and this is Carol’s stupid meditation room."

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."

"Remember, you can do ANYTHING...but for only 80 cents to every dollar earned by a man."

"Did you unpack your baggage yourself?"

'Have you been working out?'

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

"You emptied your mind already? That was quick."

'The trouble is, once you've attained enlightenment, it's all downhill.'

'Now, until you've attained perfect wisdom, you'll have to learn to evade questions.'

I swear, you don't hear a word I don't say.

"They always fall for the old 'high-impact yoga' trick!"