Meditation Fans Pillows

'The truly enlightened don't NEED beer coolers!'

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

Zenemies.

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

My God, I need to fart.

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

Meditation

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

'It says, 'Life is like a transistor.''

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."

"... and this is Carol’s stupid meditation room."

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

"Remember, you can do ANYTHING...but for only 80 cents to every dollar earned by a man."

'Have you been working out?'

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

Grok's Thought Stopping.

'Now, until you've attained perfect wisdom, you'll have to learn to evade questions.'

"They always fall for the old 'high-impact yoga' trick!"